Progression!

HELLO! It's been a little while now. I am thrilled to report that I feel back to normal. These two pics show the progression of my left eyebrow and forehead being able to move again. The left side is not as strong yet as the right side but it's getting there.

It's now been 3 months since my surgery and I think I feel as normal as ever. Physically my body is back to where I was. Emotionally I am feeling ready to deal with all of this as the shock has now worn off or is wearing off.
The best news is that I had a follow up angiogram last week and the report is that my brain is now clear. I do think that means I am done with this but I will confirm that with my surgeon when he can talk to me. They are busy people but I was told that I can completely trust the opinion of the doctor who did the angiogram. The report is all clear!

I am still on anti brain seizure medication, Keppra, but thankfully I don't feel it anymore. I take an EEG in April and hopefully show no brain seizures going on. Then I can slowly try to come off Keppra and hopefully stay off it forever. The possibility is that the AVM pushed against my brain and caused permanent damage which will have the brain seizures (hallucinations for me) continue. Those would not be fun to feel again.

Right now Keppra is the only issue I still have on this whole thing. I feel completely lucky and blessed and what a miracle this entire situation has been for me. If remembering to take a drug twice a day for the rest of my life is the worst of it, I'll take that any day.

I do know that I have a lot to say about all this. The words are not clear to me yet but I can tell I want to do something with what I've been through. Perhaps it's about talking to others who have to go through this. I am feeling out all the options right now on where to do service with this. I feel like I have a lot to do.

I will update again. Thank you so much for caring. That caring I feel from everyone is the strength I carry inside myself.
BLESS!
Andrea

My new Head Shot

me now

it's so funny because people expect me to have a shaved head but instead i look normal. out in the world they have no idea that i just had brain surgery. this is what my scar looks like now. they managed to shave my head in a way that covers the scar right up. in a way it feels very weird to go through effort to show this when it still feels so obvious inside of me. weird for 3.5 weeks after this surgery to look like a normal version of me.

the only difference right now is that i can't move my left eyebrow up, or my forehead (like i've had botox). that may come back they say. i wonder how different this experience would be if they still shaved everyone's heads like they did a few years ago. i think i'd be in shock.

The 33 Staples (that are now out)

Andrea at home!

Stephanie talks with Andrea at home:

I'm almost back!

I can finally say I am almost back. This is amazing. No more drugs, exercise walking every day, and I am feeling ready to get back to work next week.

Just amazing to finally feel like myself again.
It was a hard couple weeks after the surgery but then all of a sudden I am quickly returning to myself each day.
My staples were removed yesterday and tomorrow I get to wash my hair!! That will take a lot of time and I have two friends coming over to condition and comb my hair out. I don't know if we'll be able to finish that in one evening.

I am feeling very lucky and in good shape. I'm starting to feel how lucky/grateful/blessed that I am.

Talk soon,
Andrea

adjusting

hi everyone.
i can finally turn on my computer and focus with a bit of clarity.

i am thankful. i say that without 100% feeling it yet. i thought all i would care about is how grateful i'd be. i expect that feeling to take over, but i guess i'm not there yet. i do think i will end up that way. i should be so grateful to have my life saved, etc.
i'll get into that when the time is right for that.

for now, i am adjusting. i am finding my strength again. i have done some walking today and yesterday. i am figuring out how much medicine to take to stay out of head pain. my body feels strange. my mind is mostly dealing with pain. i have staples in my head that get removed next wednesday. it is very strange to look at a bald strip and see staples. my hair is such a mess but i can't touch it yet. that has to wait until next friday. 9 more days.

i think overall i'm in shock about all this. feels way too large to really deal with. even though i knew it was coming for a month it is still shocking. now, i hope to get through this pain as quickly as possible and then i can appreciate what's been happening. it's such a long process and i need to be patient.

i am feeling slightly human for a few days now. feels good to be here. i am eating regularly now and sleeping all night. i think i'm doing pretty well for one week after brain surgery. please continue to progress and thank you for making me stronger every day. maybe for now that is what i'm thankful for. the steps feel small for now. that is where my focus is.

i made friends with my first nurse from santa monica ucla emergency room. she was so good to me and we became friends. i am now in touch with her and she will be looking in on me this friday. how lucky am i to have bonded with my nurse and now i get a personal visit. i feel so well watched right now. i haven't been alone yet. that is a funny change to not have been alone. i am sure that will change soon enough. i know life will look different as i get through this.

thank you for hearing me.
love,
andrea